In fact what do we even think about money? Sometimes we think if we had money everything would be possible because, frankly speaking it’s possible to get health for money and even love. Sometimes we play the game “If I had a million” and imagine how we would spoil others and ourselves with travels, quality lifestyle and realization of the dreams. Sometimes, by some sudden insight, we “order” some amount of money just not think about them.
But the most important thing is that we are confident about is this: we personally are absolutely worth it and know what to do with it. And I’m talking not about the salary, I’m talking about that amount of money that we imagine and we call it “big money”.
Is that possible?
Why not? Sometimes life shows us some examples. We hear the stories that someone got lucky with money. Maybe they were born in a rich family taking the money “in the bedside table.” Maybe they got some property or money from relatives. Or maybe, and this happen too, won in a lottery or in a casino.
Do you remember one woman who won 30 millions? But she ended up dead because of alcohol and she lost everything she won? Another family that won in TV show but became poor in a year? There are lists of the people who’s got Jack pot in life but couldn’t handle that. We can google this and discover many cases like this when people start to behave wasteful when they got a lot of money unexpectedly.
On the other hand people who was earning their money from year to year sometimes also have difficulties with accepting being rich. Those who was gaining and not spending. For example, Rockefeller who became greedy with no feelings. Or famous Henry Ford who had hard financial control with his family and as a result his children became alcoholics and gave a lot of millions to the ex-wifes after divorse.
Also think about kids of rich parents or crazy mistresses that uncontrollably spend money of their rich men. Teens on expensive cars racing on the streets, jaded wives using drugs or gambling, some celebrities experiencing difficulties.
We all ask ourselves – why do they waste their money like that? Why they don’t do charity, don’t buy medicine or medical equipment, don’t volunteer in hospice? Or at least not education, project or scientific researches? Why do they spend money so easy and silly? Why does it look like they do not like money and instead hate it? But why money come to them?
Because money is indicator. It really shows the personality because money have very powerful temptation load.
Psychologists define four types of people that attract money. They even call it “financial temper”. So according to it there are:
- saving magnets. They have goals, usually get all what they want and they save it and even multiply
- waisting magnets. Their financial stability is an edge where they balance. They waste a lot thinking that money will never end. In difficult situations do not try to spend less.
- saving “repellents”. Yes those who pulling to push. They hard to get money but easy to spend. They can’t deal with money energy.
- wasting “repellents”. These people just waste, they find financial problems. Sometimes they work hard but try to get easy money like gambling, lotteries, games.
Why do they belong to that types? First of all because they accepted models of dealing with money from their families. Big money comes from three sources: business, fast or unexpected money (winning in lottery or inheritance), expecting inheritance. Each of those variants has risks.
Let’s say if someone of first generation gets inheritance then this person just doesn’t know how to manage money but spending it is much easier to know. If inheritor is from further generations and there are already several ones then each of them pretend on that wealth more then others.
Unexpected money make shock effect because of sudden delight. But that money that don’t have value are usually spent easily.
For someone who was working hard and earned a lot of money they can become the instrument of power. So always there is risk that someone having big money can get into dissonance with it no matter how he got it. And this influence a lot on personality.
What can happen?
Big money can turn a person alone: he begins to suspect all around thinking that people can use him and steal. On this matter there is an amazing old fairy tale “The Cold Heart” – about how rich good hero consistently deprives himself of love and friendship, not wishing to share with anyone and help anyone.
However, there is opposite case: when a person experiences an exaggerated sense of guilt and shame to those who are not so lucky, and those who know how to manipulate them. As a result, overgrown bloodsuckers and swindlers, successfully extruding it to the remainder. He has a lot of best friends and advisers – exactly until the moment when the money is still with him.
On the other hand, wealthy people – a great target for all kinds of addictions, more expensive and less healthy. Expensive alcohol is still alcohol, what can we say about drugs or purchased sex. And sooner or later all senses and feelings become dull, and therefore, it is necessary to try more bigger doses of more adrenaline hobbies. Actually, this is where the terrible games with adrenaline come out and we don’t event want to talk about examples.
In this case, a person starts to have serious problems with the empathy. Big money enslave but people usually don’t see it. No matter how people get a lot of money they start to think about themselves more valuable in this world and deep inside consider those who do not have so much financial resources as people of lower grade.
So, may be the rich person doesn’t want to help someone and want to satisfy only himself. There is one more problem appears – lack of the imagination.. where to spend? There are of course stereotypes from Gatsby to Kardashian family and it’s possible to accept these models and start to behave in the same way – just buying houses, yachts, jets and etc. This starts as a high emotional level consumption but sooner or later brings to down level. Because there is nothing more.
In general the ability to manage finance is very important. And it’s important to think in the way of financial stability and gain the right habits.
What shall we do then?
Shall we not pretend of becoming rich if we don’t feel enough confident with money? Basically we all think about magic stick and all what we’ve said above sounds hopeless. On the other hand there are a lot of positive examples of dealing with big money. Marc Zuckerberg and his wife send a lot of money for charity. Vanisha Mittal or Georgina Bloomberg both hardly working women.
To want to have big money is great. But at the same time it’s better to want to have the ability to manage it and to be wisdom enough in dealing with money. You can try to manage in efficient way already with what you’ve had now. Do you know the expression “if you can manage three people then you are able to manage three thousands”. Same with money.
Money has energy. And we need to be able to manage this energy in order to get what we want.
Lucia Suleimanova – psychologist, PhD, coach